Understanding the link between voice and sexual attraction isn’t just interesting science— it’s necessary if you want to be a better lover.

The words we use are important. They help us to convey our feelings, thoughts and needs. They help us build friendships and romantic relationships. Help us to better articulate our boundaries, or maybe even clearly display our aggravation when they are crossed. Words are incredibly important, but as it turns out, so are all the things we don’t say. 

Nonverbal communication is a staple of our everyday lives. While most often thought of as the way we hold ourselves, our postures, facial expressions, and gestures; nonverbal communication is actually evident in an entire range of reactions that we don’t necessarily notice, or even consciously control. Understanding these important, but largely underestimated, cues can help us to improve our relationships. Even those that exist  in the bedroom.

 

The Curious Link Between Voice and Sexual Attraction 

According to a study performed at Albright College in Pennsylvania, the pitch of your voice may indicate a number of things you’re not aware of. What was studied? Attraction. 

The study looked at the vocal behaviors of 45 college age students, and how they responded to individuals of the opposite sex that they were attracted to. Asking the students to leave a recorded voice message for “receivers” (stock images of people from the internet, not actually receiving these messages). Some of the receivers were incredibly attractive, others less so. When the researchers analyzed the voices that were on the messages, they found that the physiological signs of attraction that were recorded while the student was making the message, were also notable in the register of voice that the participants used. 

In the instances where the student was attracted to the receiver, researchers noticed that both men and women used a lower register. This lower pitch seemed to be associated with a more sexually suggestive and “husky” enunciation. Which may be an unconscious indicator of attraction. While the team is unsure as to what motivates us to lower our vocal registers to indicate arousal, some believe it’s because of indwelling social stereotypes. Possibly in an “attempt to sound more seductive or attractive…”

 

How to Improve Your Talk 

Which is something that is seen throughout media and phone sex outlets. And who knows dirty talk better than a phone sex operator? But a sexy voice is just half that battle, as according to the sexperts, you also need the confidence behind what you’re saying. 

Phone sex or dirty talk can both be a bit difficult to get used to, but confidence is definitely key. Well, confidence and getting those Smokey notes just right. Improving dirty talk is a heady mix of what you say, how you say it, and really listening to your partner. The best way to improve your dirty talk is to practice! Talking with your partner, and being open to what it is they’re saying, what they want, and how they react to what it is you’re saying. 

Navigating the Waters 

While it’s not the only thing that plays a part in attraction, the voice register you use could play a big part in how your partner perceives what it is you’re trying to tell them. But there are some other important parts to imparting your desire that also need a little love. Mostly? You. 

More than just feeling desired by our partners, it’s also important that we feel desirable— on a personal level. Whether this means paying a little extra attention to those curves that you love, getting back into a fitness routine to tame the ones you don’t, or just picking up some nice clothes or lingerie that make you feel sexy. More than just what you’re wearing, how you’re thinking is also a massive determinant to whether or not you’ll feel desirable, and whether or not your partner will pick up on that. 

Mental health is almost as big of a factor as voice is when it comes to feeling and departing feelings of desire. Ensuring that you not only feel good about yourself, how you think, what you do— but it can also help you feel a bit more confident about what you say. And how you say it. So even things like therapy, or creating a plan to better manage stress, anxiety, and depression can help get you back in the swing of things. Now you’re talking.